Tuesday, April 23, 2013

No Greater Joy and "To Train Up a Child"

I recommend this book!  A year ago, Shane over an article he read about French parenting: how it produced well-mannered children who could entertain themselves and ate their food without fuss!  Of course, that's what I grew up expecting from children.  I always say, if John Quincy Adams could be an ambassador to Russia at 14, we can expect a lot more than is typical of children today.
One of the most important concepts in the book was that you have to spend enormous amounts of time with your children.  It is hard to stop a task and devote 15 minutes to training - multiple times a day!

Oh, and I totally missed the boat with infant potty training. Oh well.  Better late than never!

"Three thousand years ago, a wise man said, “Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Good training is not crisis management; it is what you do before the need of discipline arises
" Most parenting is accidental rather than deliberate.  Imagine building a house that way.  We don’t need to reinvent training.  There are child training principles and methods that have worked from antiquity.  To neglect deliberate training is to shove your child into a sea of choices and passions without a boat of compass.
"This book is not about discipline, nor problem children.  The emphasis is on the training of a child before the need to discipline arises.  It is apparent that, though they expect obedience, most parents never attempt to train their child to obey.  They wait until the behavior becomes unbearable and then explode.  With proper training, discipline can be reduced to 5% of what many now practice.  As you come to understand the difference between training and discipline, you will have a renewed vision for your family, no more raised voices, no contention, no bad attitudes, fewer spankings, a cheerful atmosphere in the home and total obedience from your children.
"Tie some strings.  You must knit together with your child before you can train him.  Confess your failure to God and to your child.  Ask your child to forgive...Be a friend. Do things with them that they enjoy.  ...When they like you, they will want to please you, and will be open to your discipline.
The strongest chord of discipline is not found in the whip;  rather, it is the weaving together of the strings of mutual lvoe, respect, honor, loyalty, admiration, and caring.  It is the difference in being "led by the spirit" and being "under the works of the law."  The law gives us direction, but only the spirit of grace gives us power..  If you will cultivate fellowship with your child, you will have such cooperation adn compliance that you will forget where you last left the rod...
It is a painful thing to sin against your best buddy."

I liked this review:
A few years ago my wife read the book, "Created to be his help meet" By Debi Pearl. I later heard of this book, and saw much controversy surrounding it. References in the news of psycho child beaters seriously hurting their children, and incidentally owning this book. I didn't think it was like the Pearls to teach something like that, so I thought I would take a look at the book for myself. To my surprise in and out of the book, Michael warns against hitting out of anger, leaving marks, and being an overbearing sergeant to your children. He does mention the age old tactic of using a switch. This is why I believe it has gained a bad reputation. 

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Thanks so much! I greatly value thoughtful comments!! ~ Gabriela